Every family has its own culture. Your culture is a combination of traditions, practices, social class, nationality, and values your family has. Some of my favorite family traditions have been during Christmas. We love to do 12 days of Christmas for a family that is in need. We also get Christmas pajamas from our elf, Tompton, on Christmas. When we lived in Nashville, we would always stay at the Opryland Hotel on Christmas and go see a movie. My family loves camping, playing sports, and eating good food. The super bowl is also a big deal in my family. They are die-hard Patriot fans so you can imagine how exciting this weekend is.
How does a family create or perpetuate culture?
Humans are creatures of habit, and under stress, we will revert back to what is familiar. Culture is either created intentionally or by default.
"Have you ever known anyone who grew up in a horrible environment full of continuous conflict and chaos, who, when they arrived at adulthood and set up their own home, ended up with the same kind of atmosphere that they were raised with even though they hated it when they were younger? Or perhaps you have had acquaintances that had parents who were addicted to drugs or alcohol and then they, the children, in turn, developed the same kind of addictions in spite of all the pain and turmoil that they experienced as a result of their parents’ destructive habit(s). Conversely maybe you have had friends that grew up in homes that were full of kindness, enthusiasm, and unconditional love, and now they are providing the same kind of environment for their own children. If you were to look back in time to the grandparents and great-grandparents and perhaps further back than that, you would probably see some of the same kinds of patterns as described above...While we might have the best of intentions of teaching our children positive values, unless we ourselves have incorporated these into our own lives and practiced them on a daily basis, it will be very difficult to transmit them to our offspring. It’s somewhat unrealistic to expect our children to live up to values that we aren’t even willing to abide by ourselves"- Dr. Gary Vatcher.
In class this week we discussed how to intentionally create culture. I am so grateful to have grown up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that encourages a family culture of love, faith, repentance, forgiveness, and prayer. This is the kind of culture I want to create in my own family. However, there are other cultures I look up to as well. After living in Taiwan for a year and a half, I loved how important extended family was to them. They always showed great respect for their elderly. I always heard them quoting President David O. Mckay's "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." The picture above was one I took from inside a member's home. I love that! We all have the option to pick and choose what cultures we admire in other families and apply them to our own. We don't and shouldn't pass down dysfunctional rules, discipline, and behaviors. Not every family is the same, but there are family systems and forms that are more effective than others. Strong families don't just happen by accident.
What kind of cultures do your families have?
What values and traits do you want to pass down to your children and what are you doing to communicate them?
Have you done things differently from when you were growing up?
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