There are so many ways in which I am like dad. We both love the outdoors and sports, going to see movies together, geek out over stuff like Starwars, and of course mess with our cats. I have so many fond memories of my dad and he is one of my biggest supporters. I am so grateful to have parents that have raised me in the restored gospel and help me be the person I am today. There is something so invaluable about having fathers in our lives.
I want to first dive into a sensitive topic. In the last decade, there have been several big school shootings that have left our hearts broken. We have tried to place the blame on guns and mental health but I think there is more to it than that.
In an article titled "A Key Commonality In School Shooters The Left Refuses To Address" Amanda Prestigiacomo writes, "As noted by University of Virginia Professor Brad Wilcox in 2013, 'nearly every shooting over the last year in Wikipedia’s ‘list of U.S. school attacks’ involved a young man whose parents divorced or never married in the first place.' Additionally, a study on older male shooters found similar connections to growing up fatherless. Writing at The Federalist in 2015, Peter Hasson highlighted the fact that of all the shootings on CNN's “27 Deadliest Mass Shootings In U.S. History" list committed by young males since 2005, only one was raised by his biological father...Hasson also distilled the jarring correlation between fatherless homes and general male violence:
Violence? There’s a direct correlation between fatherless children and teen violence. Suicide? Fatherless children are more than twice as likely to commit suicide. Dropping out of school? Seventy-one percent of high school dropouts came from a fatherless background. Drug use? According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, “Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse.” How about guns? Two of the strongest correlations with gun homicides are growing up in a fatherless household and dropping out of school, which itself is directly related to lack of an active or present father.
This clear connection is being lazily and intentionally addressed by the Left — if at all — as more evidence to further squash masculinity, which they've deemed "toxic." But this is nonsense. Masculinity, or testosterone, when channeled correctly by a guiding male figure, can be the most productive, good thing in the world. Of course, no guidance, or poor guidance, can be disastrous.
'Without dads as role models, boys’ testosterone is not well channeled,' wrote author Warren Farrell at USA TODAY. 'The boy experiences a sense of purposelessness, a lack of boundary enforcement, rudderlessness, and often withdraws into video games and video porn. At worst, when boys’ testosterone is not well-channeled by an involved dad, boys become among the world’s most destructive forces. When boys’ testosterone is well channeled by an involved dad, boys become among the world’s most constructive forces.'"
I agree with her. We need fathers more than ever right now. The best way to a better society is to strengthen the family. One thing that I will make sure to do when I am a parent is to try to involve my husband as much possible and give him the responsibility of presiding over my home. I am so grateful that this is what our church promotes as well.
There are many other organizations that share this same view. On the site Fathers for Good they state, "Research into the family continues to confirm the importance of two parents as the best basis for bringing up children. One common problem in the last few decades is the absence of fathers, and the corresponding rise of families headed by single mothers."
During his presidency President Obama also emphasized fatherhood,
"Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives, we are reminded today that family is the most important. And we are called to recognize and honor how critical every father is to that foundation. They are teachers and coaches. They are mentors and role models. They are examples of success and the men who constantly push us toward it.
But if we are honest with ourselves, we’ll admit that what too many fathers also are is missing — missing from too many lives and too many homes. They have abandoned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men. And the foundations of our families are weaker because of it. It’s up to us — as fathers and parents — to instill this ethic of excellence in our children. It’s up to us to say to our daughters, don’t ever let images on TV tell you what you are worth, because I expect you to dream without limit and reach for those goals. It’s up to us to tell our sons, those songs on the radio may glorify violence, but in my house we give glory to achievement, self-respect and hard work. It’s up to us to set these high expectations. And that means meeting those expectations ourselves. That means setting examples of excellence in our own lives."
Fathers and future fathers, remember your children will see everything. They will watch how you treat your wife. They will see if you are being inconsiderate at home. They will notice how much time you spend on video games and sports channels. They will notice when you are distant or only thinking of yourself. You can lecture and preach to them all day long about the kind of person they should be, but ultimately "while we might have the best of intentions of teaching our children positive values, unless we ourselves have incorporated these into our own lives and practiced them on a daily basis, it will be very difficult to transmit them to our offspring. It’s somewhat unrealistic to expect our children to live up to values that we aren’t even willing to abide by ourselves. Our neglect basically tells them that the values, ultimately, are not all that vital to us since we don’t find it important to live by them. Disciplining ourselves to live according to positive values not only transmits a positive legacy to our children and future posterity, but it provides us with direction and a greater sense of control over our own lives."- Dr. Gary Vatcher, MFT
I want to end by sharing this amazing clip from the movie Courageous:
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